Well, This is Odd
by Like A Dove
Summary: Thanks to Uncle Iroh and his mysterious Spirit World ways, Katara and Zuko wake up in each other's bodies. Shenanigans ensue.
1. one

**A/N: **

**Writing **_**Resting in a Raze**_** can be depressing, so I'm writing this. It's happy, and happy is good! Updates will be a bit sporadic, probably whenever a humorous mood strikes me. Hope everyone enjoys! Obviously this chapter is just setting the story up, but still.**

**And I don't expect this to be long at all. Maybe four installments at the most.**

**Rated 'M' for what will sure to be amusing sexy times.**

**Let me know your thoughts. :D**

* * *

The fighting had gotten worse.

At first it had been over small things, like which side of Zuko's bed Katara would sleep on, and why couldn't Zuko wake up for meetings a little _later_ in the morning?

And then other situations began to factor themselves in, such as Gran-Gran getting sick and Zuko not being able to get away from his duties long enough to see her, to him making Katara a new necklace to replace her mother's, not understanding that her mother's necklace was her most precious possession.

"The Southern Water Tribe doesn't even participate in the whole necklace thing!" Katara had snapped at him when he'd presented her with the pendant attached to the shiny red ribbon. Her fingers had been closed over her mother's necklace the whole time, as if she couldn't let go.

But those fights they got over.

It was Zuko not being able to attend Sokka and Suki's wedding that was the breaking point.

And it's not as if Zuko hadn't wanted to go. As a matter of fact, he'd had it marked on his calendar for months and had ordered more wedding gifts then was appropriate.

But then tensions had escalated between the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom, and Zuko was forced to stay behind.

Katara was open minded about most things, and understanding toward nearly _all_ things, but she couldn't fathom the concept of anything having more importance then family, including duty.

The day she returned from the wedding was the day when their relationship truly began to fall apart.

* * *

Zuko couldn't remember what he had said. His mind was completely blank at this particular moment.

He'd snarled something rude to her over their usual morning tea. And he'd only said it to rile her up, to annoy her, to irritate and frustrate her as much as she was irritating and frustrating him. And he'd gotten the exact opposite of what he'd wanted.

Katara had sat her teacup down, her eyes turned toward the table. When she finally looked up at him, Zuko felt his heart drop into his stomach.

"I don't think I want to get married anymore," she said, voice twinged with both sadness and resentment.

Zuko began backpedaling. Fast.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I—I didn't mean it, Katara. I wasn't thinking—"

"That's right!" she snapped, blue eyes suddenly blazing. "You never think before you speak! And then you think that everything can be erased with just an _apology_. Well, I've got news for you—"

"I never think?!" Zuko interrupted, incredulous, all of his guilt washed away as he mind prepared for another fight. "You don't even have a_ filter_! You just say whatever the hell comes into your head and then get mad when other people don't like it!"

"_I don't have a filter_?" She shrieked, anger sky rocketing into rage. "You word vomit more than anyone else in the _universe _and you have the nerve to tell _me_—"

"I don't word vomit!"

"Stop interrupting me!"

"You _stop_ interrupting _me_!"

"That's it!" Katara slammed her fist down onto the small table and stood up swiftly, flinging her chair back in the process. "I can't deal with this anymore. I can't deal with_ you_."

"Well… Well, I can't deal with you anymore, either!"

"Oh _wow_, what a great come back."

"You're impossible!" Zuko stood up, nearly tripping over his own two feet in his haste to chase after the one girl who could make him feel so _much_ in such a small space of time. And even if they were mostly negative feelings these days, they were _something_.

Katara, now standing by the door to their bedroom, narrowed her eyes at him. "No, _you're_ impossible, Zuko," she bit out. "And I _don't _want to marry you anymore."

Zuko opened his mouth only to spit out sparks, fists clenching as Katara slammed the door behind her.

* * *

Uncle Iroh could hear every word to his nephew and future niece-in-law's fight. Every. Word.

Most adults would be upset to hear a young, formerly loving relationship crumble. But not Iroh.

Because Iroh knew the main problem to their relationship—neither understood the other.

But that, like many things, could be fixed with just the right amount of patience and Spirit involvement. And Iroh happened to have an interesting relationship with the Spirit World.

The old man quickly snuck into his nephew's room after the spat, intent to get there before any servants did.

The two teacups that the young couple had been drinking out of were still blessedly sitting where Zuko and Katara had left them, slightly rattled and only half drunk.

Iroh couldn't conceal his grin as he picked them up, careful not to spill any precious tea.

He'd always wanted to try this!

* * *

Usually reading settled Katara's mind.

But not tonight. Tonight she felt sick to her stomach with grief. Grief over herself, grief over Zuko, and grief over she and Zuko's doomed relationship.

Because doomed was all they were ever going to be. They'd been trying to make it work for months now, but to no avail. They kept fighting, kept clawing at each other's throats, kept saying things to purposely upset the other. And make-up sex and sweetly spun words weren't the quick fixes like they'd used to be.

Instead they just made the both of them feel all the more shallow.

Katara sniffed and pushed the scroll to the side. She'd holed herself up in her old guest room, the one she'd used to stay in before she'd moved into Zuko's room. She thought that it'd be comforting, to get away from him, but instead she felt alone, felt unwanted.

And he was probably stewing in his own anger, she knew. Zuko did that. He stewed, raged, and then apologized, sending her wide, golden puppy eyes in the process that always made her forgive him. Katara could never stay angry with Zuko for too long. Or at least, she used to never stay angry with Zuko for too long.

Now it felt as if she'd been angry with him for months.

And really, what good was a man who constantly put his country over his family? That had been their biggest, most consistent argument. And it was an argument that neither of them wanted to back away from.

Zuko would sacrifice his friends and family for the good of his country, for the good of the world.

Katara didn't have it in her to do that. She would sacrifice everything, including herself, for the happiness of the ones that she loved.

Quite simply put, she and Zuko had reached an impasse.

They weren't going to work.

The worst part was that she still loved him.

* * *

The next morning Katara woke to a servant knocking on her door at an hour that was _much_ too early.

Honestly, didn't anyone sleep around here?

She moaned, arms knocking back the silken sheets that had been wrapped themselves around her. She rolled out of bed, feet hitting the floor like a cat's, and opened her eyes tiredly.

And then she screamed.

Because not only was she in Zuko's room, but she also now had a penis.


	2. two

**A/N:**

**Admittedly, I did completely forget about this story for a time. But then I remembered! So, yay!**

**A short installment so I could remember what exactly what I wanted to do with this fic. I gotta say, a broken up Zutara is actually kind of fun to write. Fixing it should be even more fun. ;)**

**Hope everyone likes, and sorry for the delay!**

* * *

The guard that had been knocking suddenly thr**e**w the door open, a panicked look on his face. His sudden appearance made Katara scream even louder.

And then she realized what kind of noise was coming out of her mouth. It was _not_ feminine and high-pitched. It was low and scratchy and _not hers_ and there was _a penis between her legs_—

"Get out of the way!" And then the shocked guard was shoved to the side and in stormed… Katara.

And Katara, the actual Katara, suddenly started sobbing because this was the worst nightmare _ever_. She watched herself kick the door closed and then sigh, a grouchy look on her own face.

"Zuko?" she called out, reaching up with a now muscular arm to swipe at a tear.

The eyes were blue now, but Katara could recognize the glint and similar tilt to his mouth anywhere. He grunted, although the sound was much less impactful, now.

"What did you _do_?" he accused, finger pointing at her. The other hand hung by his side, as if he didn't realize that he now had wide hips to prop them on.

"I didn't do this!" she screeched, the hysterical feelings all rushing back to her. She was naked in her ex-boyfriend's body, a body that was fully equipped with his _male_ _body parts_—

"Get it off!" she suddenly shouted, gesturing between her legs and then wincing. "Get it _off_!"

And Zuko… Zuko looked downright offended. "What do you mean _get it off_? It's not an _insect_!"

Katara whimpered, the sound of it unimpressive with her new, masculine voice. She yanked a red sheet off the bed and wrapped it around herself before slumping down on the bed.

And then Zuko was standing in front of her, and his soft hand palmed her cheek and gently forced her to look at him. "Katara, do you know who might have done this to us?"

How he managed to remain to calm and collected despite the fact that he now had boobs, she would never know.

She shrugged, pale shoulder rising up and down. "The Spirits are damning us for something, I suppose."

There was another knock on the door, and a moment later a hesitant voice called through, asking the Fire Lord if he wanted his breakfast tea.

Zuko and Katara froze at the same time.

"Uncle Iroh," Zuko snarled, dark pink lips pulling back to reveal perfectly white teeth. He straightened quickly, hand falling away from her face.

Katara stood as well and hurried to the closet. "Don't talk to him without me!"

"Then hurry up and put some clothes on—"

"What do you think I'm in the closet for?"

The bickering continued for another moment, and then Katara stepped out in a simple red tunic and black pants.

Zuko's eyes narrowed. "Those are commoner clothes that I wear when I go out. I wear more formal attire around the palace. You're going to have to—"

"I'm not changing. Your Fire Lord uniform always looks so hot and stuffy—"

"Yeah, well, that's what I wear as _Fire Lord_."

"No."

"Katara—"

"No. If I have to have a penis for the next twenty minutes then I'm going to at least be comfortable."

"Oh come on," Zuko snapped, exasperated. He gestured to his now full, soft looking, curvaceous chest. "I have _these_ now, but you don't see me complaining!"

"You don't have to pee with those, Zuko!"

"_Katara_—"

"Besides, boobs are significantly more low-maintenance then penises."

"Katara!"

There was another knocking on the door, and this time the servant's voice sounded a little more desperate and concerned.

"Let's just go," Katara ground out, making her way toward the door.

"Wait!" Zuko grabbed her wrist in order to still her, and she scowled as he stood up on his tip toes in order to yank her shaggy black hair into a top knot. Then he stuck in his crown. He pushed her forward and she squared her shoulders and yanked open the door.

At least twenty servants and guards had their room surrounded.

Katara froze, golden eyes going wide as a servant bowed low in front of her.

"Fire Lord Zuko, are you and Lady Katara all right? There was a commotion and quite a bit of shouting—"

"We're fine!" Katara explained, attempting to plaster a reassuring smile onto her face. "There was just um, stuff happening. That's all. Excuse me." She stepped forward and the small crowd parted for her easily. And then Zuko was right beside her, steps quicker than her own in order to keep up.

When they reached Iroh's quarters, the guard stationed outside shook his head. "The Dragon of the West has asked not to be disturbed this morning."

Zuko frowned. "I need to speak to my Uncle immediately. It's… an emergency."

The guard stared at Zuko as if he was insane, and Zuko, quickly realizing his mistake, backtracked. "Um, I mean, Iroh, the Dragon, Iroh of the West, um—"

Katara coughed and nudged Zuko with her foot in order to shut him up. "I really need to see my Uncle, please."

The guard blinked at her, as if confused by her tone. "But, the Dragon of the West has asked not to—"

"Tell my Uncle that if he doesn't let me in, then I'll kick down this damn door myself and then burn ever tea bag in this Spirits forsaken palace. Got it?" She moved to place her hands on her hips; her palms slipped down her torso a bit and she grit her teeth in irritation.

The guard's eyes had gone as wide as saucers. "Y-Yes, Fire Lord Zuko. Right away."

Zuko was now pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head.

And moments later Iroh opened his door. "No need for threats, nephew." He grinned, opening the door a bit wider. When he beckoned them in with an open hand, Katara was the first one to plunge through the door.

* * *

"Iroh, I don't think you understand. I have a _penis_ now."

Iroh was beaming at the both of them over tea.

Typical.

Zuko seemed to be getting angrier and angrier by the moment. "Uncle, as you can clearly see, whatever Spirit World shenanigans you've…you've cooked up are _not _helping matters!"

Iroh seemed unfazed and blinked at them innocently before bring his teacup back to his lips. He sipped slowly, as if basking in the heated glares coming at him from both Zuko and Katara.

Finally he peered up at the both of them and smiled. "When you finally see each other through open eyes, then you will see finally see through _your _eyes again."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Zuko burst out. "Uncle, I have a country that I'm responsible for. I have meetings to attend to! An ambassador from the Earth Kingdom is due in two days! And I have to be _me_ for—"

"What, are you saying that I couldn't run the Fire Nation in your stead?"

Zuko looked like he wanted to scream. "That's not what I meant—"

"Because I'm not an idiot, Zuko. What do you think I've been doing the entire time I've been here? _Entertaining_ you?"

"Katara—"

"Did you really think that I was going to become Fire Lady without studying your nation's politics?"

"Stop inter—"

"Did you really think that?!"

"Stop talking over me!" Zuko shouted, slamming a small fist against the table. It rattled, spilling tea.

Katara crossed her thick arms over her now flat chest and glared moodily down at the now stained table cloth.

"Uncle, I have to be myself in these meetings. I _have_ to."

The expression on Iroh's face was pleasant, but Katara could see the tint of disappointment in his wise gaze. "I cannot help you, Fire Lord Zuko. I cannot help either of you. You both must help yourselves and each other."

Katara squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed. Her throat felt thick and dry and suddenly all she wanted to do was go home and escape this place. Escape Zuko.

But now there was a crown on top of her head.

And hair on her chest.

* * *

"So, what do I do? Just grab it and aim?"

"Essentially. Just, be gentle with it—Not that rough! Agni, Katara. It's not a toy."

"You know, I don't think you've told me to be gentle with _this_ before."

"Shut up."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Um, I thought you had to pee…?"

"Look away, Zuko."

"Are you…are you _serious_?"

"Just because these are technically your bits and pieces doesn't mean that I'm no longer entitled to some privacy. Look. Away."

"_Fine_."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Did you just _piss on my shoes_?"

"Technically they're _my _shoes."

"_Katara!_"

"That's for thinking that there's no way I could stand in for you at one of your meetings. Jerk."

"You're _impossible_! You're—"

"Did sparks just come out of my—_your _mouth?!

"…"

"…"

"Well, shit."

* * *

And Katara was waterbending. She smiled, working a pale finger in circles over her bowl of soup.

"Must be some kind of spirit energy thing. We're still us, spiritually, so we can still bend our natural elements," Zuko said, manipulating a fireball between his dark palms. "Interesting."

Katara nodded, brow furrowing. "Zuko, we have to switch back before tomorrow."

Zuko sighed, long, dark waves falling over his shoulder as he leaned forward. "I know. The meeting is going to be a disaster—"

"That's not why," Katara said, rolling her eyes. "We have other problems to worry about."

Zuko shrugged and glanced in her direction. "I don't see what else there could be. I mean—" he gestured down to his new body—"besides the obvious."

"Zuko, I get my period tomorrow."

All the blood drained from Zuko's face, but he put on a brave expression. He shrugged casually. "So? Nothing I can't deal with. It can't be _that_ bad."

And then Katara burst out laughing.


End file.
